you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
