I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
