I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
