At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
