just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
