I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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