I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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