But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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