So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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