My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
