If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
