He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
