I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So many bounce houses so little time
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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