Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
