i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
