Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
