no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
