I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Randomize
