I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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