Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
