All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
