i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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