Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
