I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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