she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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