3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
