This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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