we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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