i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
