hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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