Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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