if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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