You smell like a Billy Joel song
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
