you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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