so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
