Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Mom said you looked used
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
