The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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