everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You smell like stripper and shame
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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