I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
