What a fucking waste of an outfit
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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