I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You may now shotgun with the bride
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
