I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
