the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
