I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
