Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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