Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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