Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
