He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
