these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize