So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
