Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
