so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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