would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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