me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
