I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
