if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
