I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
