So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she smelled like a LAN party
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
